As a young adult, I tend to feel I have absolutely no clue what’s going on or even how I make it through some days without screaming. But, recently, I’ve been having some moments where I just sit and reflect on how far I have indeed come. It’s not where I need to be, but, I’ve learnt a few things that sure come in handy now.
These are the five things that I’ve learnt in the past year that keep my sanity levels just high enough so that I don’t go absolutely apeshit.
- Get rid of your loser friends – you might feel bad because you guys have been friends for a long time, but more and more you realise some people simply no longer fit into your life. The saying goes that ‘You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”, so, if all they do is lime and have zero interest in anything developmental especially for themselves, they really offer no support, when you’re being ambitious they cut you off and act like you’re doing too much (because they’re doing so much nothing), then, who are you?
Nothing should hold you back from unlocking your fullest potential and this might get in the way. Now I don’t want to only complain about them, but at least offer some places to get started, the first being to get a mentor- someone who’s in the sphere of where you’d like to be and would have knowledge and skills that you’d be able to use to further develop yourself.
And, be intentional about who’s in your inner circle, people with qualities you admire and inspire you. Also being able to recognise strengths and weaknesses in each other and give honest feedback so that way everyone wins.
- Invest HEAVILY in yourself- If you don’t f**k with you, why should anyone else? Being on a path to self-actualization requires you to level up in all the ways you possibly can. And keep in mind,investing in yourself doesn’t mean (just) financially. These things acquired will last you a lifetime and create not just a better future for you, but those around you as well. So what are some of the ways I think you can invest?
First way I’d have to say is knowledge/ education. I don’t necessarily mean going back to school but you can do some reading, some more research, take a class for something you’ve always wanted to know more about, sign up for an online course, even spend some time on YouTube learning a new skill.
Another way is to start setting goals so you can track your progress. Starting of with setting small daily goals, then weekly, monthly and so on, allows to you to see if there’s any gaps in the way you do things. If you set a goal that should take 1 week and you take a month and notice your issue is time management then you can at least say that’s something I need to work on.
Self care is also high on the list of self investment. You know what will allow you to feel your best self and you should absolutely do it. You deserve to feel limitless as often as you can. But this means actively practicing self care, whether it is choosing one day a week to detox from technology (no phone, laptop, tablet or tv), if its getting a massage once a month and meeting up with a friend to just talk about life. Or if you’re adventurous and want to do go rock climbing, sky diving, bungee jumping, then do it. Do the things that make you feel unstoppable.
This one is gonna sound wild, especially to me, but, exercise. Your mind should be invested in and so should your body (and your soul btw). Exercise has its physical benefits but it also helps to relieve stress, improves cognitive function and honestly just helps you to feel better all round.
- Self Awareness Is VITAL to your growth- Who are you? What do you believe in? What do you like and dislike? What are you bad at? Where are you heading?
Self awareness is having a clear understanding of you, this absolutely includes whatever flaws or toxic traits you possess. And for me, this is how you will master your life, because it will allow you to have such a deep understanding of self, that you will also come to understand the things and people around you better.
You can start with something as simple as keeping a journal that will allow for self reflection but also help offload things have been taking up too much space in your mind. Practicing mindfulness habits, like meditation is also a great first step in the process to you fully knowing you.
I can give you a personal example, where I was simply angry all the time, for good reason yes. But it was affecting myself and those around me. The thing is, I simply had no control over what had happened to me to make me so angry, but what I absolutely had control over was that emotion. At that point in my life I had to do a total overhaul and really reflect and where I am in my life, where I want to be, and exactly how will I reach there.
What self awareness does is shed a whole new light on the personalities and behaviours in yourself that you would have never taken notice of before and put that all into some perspective.
- Growth puts you in some uncomfortable positions, embrace it anyway- I’ve seen the saying “Growth and comfort do not coexist” and I felt that. Why does it make you uncomfortable? because you’re breaking an old stagnant habit and if you’re so used to your habits obviously it’ll feel strange.
But for growth and improvement, changes are required. You will be pushed to your limits in some cases, you will have to take risks in some cases, you will want to scream on many occassions, but, I’m telling you to embrace it all because the results are beautiful.
You will be presented with opportunities that require you to step out of what you ‘think’ you’re capable of and force you to truly realise your potential (as I have in some cases over the last few months) and let me tell you, you’re gonna love it.
- You win some, and you sure as heck lose some- It won’t be great all the time. But some times will be amazing and you will feel on top of the world. However there must be balance in the universe and this means taking an L once in a while.
I’m at a place in my life where if something doesn’t happen for me, I may feel sad or upset but yet I fully acknowledge it simply was not for me or it was not the right time. I’m a firm believer in that the universe gives you what you need only when you have satisfied the relevant conditions of receiving it.
So that means embracing the losses, but not letting them consume you. Because surely, you’d have learnt one thing from it.
Do any of these resonte with you? Tell me what does! Tell me what doesn’t!
Tell me what you’ve also learnt in the last year or in life in general!
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